Ok, I really didn’t want to make TWO posts in ONE night… I was going to save this for maybe a few months from now (or even a year again) since I’m sure I’ll forget I have a blog in the morning but this was too… I dunno, too, something, to not put it up. So, just like my last post, this has been dug up from ancient archives.
Re-reading old stuff is so weird now. I’m the same person, but I really can’t imagine the me sitting here now writing these things. I don’t even know how I feel about it exactly. I don’t think it has any particular value today but it’s definitely something I wrote once upon a time and it’s almost awkward reading it now but maybe that’s just because it’s 1:34 in the morning. Also, I know this isn’t “good” by any stretch of the imagination, but I’m sure I was proud of it when I wrote it…
Ok, I’ll stop rambling and just post this weird piece of writing from when I naïvely thought I was talented *insert tongue-sticking-out face*
*Scene opens late at night. Hannah is really upset and crying, anxious to get home. Her friends, a group of girls who drove her home, are all worried about her and want to comfort her
Just arriving in front of Hannah’s house, Olivia speaks before Hannah has a chance to jump out. “Hey, don’t cry. We’ll just make him wish he hadn’t said no. Maybe we’ll kick his ass or something for hurting you.”
“No don’t. I don’t want anyone forced to do anything, that’s the whole point… I want someone to WANT to be with me, not someone forced to be with me. Just go home.” Trying to speak through tears, that was all Hannah could manage before running for refuge into her house. She ran for what felt like days but finally reached her front door, the passageway to her sanctuary. She entered the one place where she knew she could cry for as long as she needed.
Hannah ran in, the door was unlocked, and ran to her bedroom in the basement. She hadn’t meant to, but she left the door slightly ajar…
John, Hannah’s neighbor and good friend, had heard Hannah crying. He wanted to check on her, to make sure she would be okay. Quietly he walked into the house, having been there many times before and feeling comfortable. He knew where she would go so he turned and went down the stairs. He found her on her bed crying, no, sobbing, into her pillows. All he could do was put his arm around her.
Then he spoke. “Hey Hannah.” he said, “Please don’t cry.”
“I can’t. I can’t ‘not cry’.”
“Well you know you can tell me anything. It couldn’t have been all that bad.”
“It was that bad!”
“Hey. C’mon now, you know you can talk to me, tell me anything. I’m here for you.”
“I know…” Hannah spoke hesitantly, leaving John hanging.
“…but?” he offered
“No, there’s no but. I just…” Hannah couldn’t seem to finish a completely sentence. At least she wasn’t crying anymore. John had always thoughts sniffles were better than sobs.
“You what?” John really wanted to help Hannah. He had always felt something for her… he was kind of brotherly? No, not quite…
“No it’s nothing, forget it.”
“Tell me.” John was prodding her now, knowing she would eventually tell him or kick him out. Since she was still under his protective arm, huddled into him, he was sure the latter wouldn’t come. “You know you can talk to me.”
“Yeah, I know. You’ve always been a great friend. I love you for listening to so much crap…” There was an awkwardly long pause before Hannah tried to start another sentence. “Umm John?…”
“Never mind. Thanks for being here though. I really appreciate it.”
“No problem Hannah. You know I’ll always be right here. I’ll always be here for you.” At this, Hannah looked up at him; almost strangely or perhaps hopefully… But hopeful for what?
“Hey, umm… Have you ever… maybe… umm… wanted to… umm… be more than just friends?” Hannah paused but when John didn’t answer her right away she had to continue to cover up her mistake. “Please don’t say no” Hannah said this almost inaudibly. Realizing how much further she had dug this hole she continued before John could even think to answer her. “No, wait. Don’t answer that. I can’t take two rejections in one night. I’m not strong enough for that. I know you would just say yes because I asked you not to say no and because I’m upset and crying and because you’re just that sweet of a guy. But this is getting way beyond a fake movie script. It’s not me, this isn’t right. It’s just far too movie –“ John interrupted her with a deep kiss on the lips. “—like… What was that for?”
“For one thing, to make you stop talking.” John chuckled softly, then continued, “You know I’ve always told you to tell me anything, and, well, that’s one thing I’m really glad you chose to tell me. No matter how movie-like or not it may be.”
Hannah surprised John with a new round of tears. Had he been wrong in kissing her? Of course he had been… It just felt so right. Why did he feel like his life was always a big mess. He felt like such a screw-up. “I’m sorry”
Through her tear filled eyes, Hannah looked up at John. “No, don’t be sorry.” She said. “I just don’t really understand. My whole life has gone from bad to worse. It always has. And now, when I feel my lowest, I have a gift from Heaven plunked into my lap. It was as easy as crying over some stupid girl problem. I don’t deserve this prize. It’s like a pity prize and –“
“Hey… no, no, no, shh. What are you talking about?” John had to cut her off there. “You are a wonderful person and you deserve every good thing the world has to offer.”
“No I don’t. I don’t deserve a guy like you.”
“Well maybe you’re right; you don’t deserve a screw-up like me. You deserve far better.”
*Scene closes with Hannah and John looking into each others eyes. Both pairs of eyes are filling with tears of joy. John never did find out what had happened to Hannah that night. All he remember of it was that last tear-filled but smiling look he and his love had shared.
Did I plan for some kind of a terrible accident to happen next? Or was this the end – a happy ending for a short, kind-of-about-nothing, I can’t even call this a story. It’s like a blip. Haha, anyway, I think I’m calm enough to go to sleep now. I just started laughing so much when I found a bunch of old things I wrote a long time ago. I hope you enjoyed this peek into the past mind of a ridiculously silly little girl. I do have more unearthed things but I’ll actually save those for another night.