Twenty-Seven. Thoughts.

As per my previously, accidentally, established pattern, this should be an exchange prep post – but it’s not because basically all the prep is done and there hasn’t been any change since the last time I mentioned apartment hunting really. I’ll mention it briefly later, but in the interim I felt like I’d tell a friend some general thoughts about things.

It’s also been almost a month since my last post and I know some people – though just a few – actually enjoy reading my posts and gaining some insight into my life 😛

Perhaps you are feeling some caffeine withdrawal.

Anyway, July has dragged on for me. It’s been a very slow month and I think it’s mostly because I haven’t been working. Also, nothing exciting has happened so I’ve had no specific inspiration for a new post.

Why haven’t I been working? Well, it’s a long story…

Basically, there was some confusion at work about my shifts because back in June I was told that I couldn’t cover one coworker’s two-month vacation since I would be gone for one of those months also. July was looking pretty bleak at that point because I only had one week booked for the whole month.

Then, I was called into work for the last week of June, and again for the first week of July in the same room. There were rumors that I was actually scheduled for the entire month! But no one from the office had approached me so on Friday I asked if I should come back on Monday. They confirmed that yes, I was indeed booked for the whole month. (This meant I couldn’t work the original one week I had been given back in June though.)

I showed up on Monday to see another supply teacher in the room and I was greeted with confusion in the office. Eventually they sent me home due to accidental over-booking and told me they’d “play it by ear” and call me if I was needed.

I actually called them on Tuesday, and again on Wednesday, then they basically told me to stop calling because they would call me. They never did.

Then, I had to email my boss a request for a separate issue but I thought I’d ask about the week I had before – to see if I could still work there.

She responded that my “heart isn’t in it” so I wouldn’t be receiving any more shifts for my remaining month of availability.

It would have been enough to tell me I wasn’t needed or I simply wouldn’t be getting any shifts – a simple “no, we booked someone else for that week” – but that comment felt like a huge slap in the face, like she’d spit on me or rubbed salt in my wound.

I felt so underappreciated at that moment. I started to cry.

People who know me really couldn’t understand the logic that led to that conclusion at all because no one knows anyone who’s more dedicated and more passionate about work than I am. I’m always excited to go to work, I love to tell stories about my job and I come home with a smile. I definitely put my whole heart into loving those kids and doing my best to help them grow and develop.

Oh well.

It’s been a few weeks since then, I still think it was a silly thing to say, but I was called in three times – twice before the email though – and even though two of those shifts were short ones, I really enjoyed being back at work. I also chose to remain positive and joyful.

On the whole, July has been extremely uneventful. My newfound free-time couldn’t be filled with friends because anyone I like that’s still in Ottawa does have a job so we couldn’t hang out.

There’s also been no improvement on the accommodation issue for when I move to Belgium.

By the way, I’m leaving in about 15 days and I don’t know where I will live. I found an excellent place but they stopped responding to me.

It’s a house owned by a non-profit organization, it’s a 15 minute walk to my school, the rent is actually affordable and there would be six other students living there too! The only “catch” is that I’d have to agree to work together with the other tenants to complete a project for the organization but Arc-en-ciel is an organization that works with children, so it would actually be a perfect fit for me!

But, I’m very hindered in house-hunting since I don’t live anywhere near Brussels and can’t physically meet people. No one seems willing to take up my offer of a Skype date and I’ve been met with quite a bit of inflexibility.

Amazingly enough, I’m very calm.

Growing up with my family, our vacations were always pre-planned and everything was already decided months in advance. The accommodations, the transportation, the entertainment, everything would be planned ahead of time, but here I am, about to go off on a crazy adventure and I don’t know where I’ll be sleeping.

The “old man” (woman) would definitely be crying and ripping her hair out, but somehow, I’m overcome by patience and peace that surpass understanding. That’s from faith in a loving, Heavenly Father who provides everything I need.

I know this trip is from Him and if He wants me there, I’d better go no matter what obstacles are in the way. It might not line-up with the timing I’d prefer, but I know He will provide an amazing place for me to live.

I still want and hope for the house I talked about, but maybe if I keep waiting on Him, He’ll show me something even better I just haven’t found yet.

Hopefully this caffeine-fix has been a good one. Maybe you can be encouraged by my positivity. Faith in God is truly a wonderful gift, and I’m so thankful I responded to God’s call in my life. I can’t imagine where I’d be or what I’d be doing/thinking/feeling if I couldn’t lean on Him.

Well, that’s about all I have to talk about for now.

As always, thanks for reading! God bless you!

PS. I want to add a prayer request section to my blog. I’m not 100% sure how it’ll work yet (if at all), but I would love to provide you all a way to ask for prayer (anonymously) and I could even post the requests for other readers to pray about too.

PPS. People ask me a lot if I’ve started packing or not yet, and just in case you wanted to know – no I haven’t. I wrote a list of everything I want to bring way back in probably April, but I still have to live in Canada for the next two weeks and living here requires clothing so I can’t pack up 10 months worth of life just yet.

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2 thoughts on “Twenty-Seven. Thoughts.

  1. Hope says:

    Sweetness – anyone who knows you does know that you are always positive and perfectly matches to work with children. Rest up. God must have big plans for you. I will pray about your accommodations. Muah.

    Sent from Hope’s iPhone

    • Rita says:

      Thanks Hope. I know I’m truly blessed and loved so it doesn’t matter what one person might say or think 🙂
      Thanks for loving me and praying for me ❤

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