Fifty-two. Growth.

Nothing earth-shattering today friends…

…just truth that has been hitting me over and over again.

It’s been two weeks into the new year and so far, I’ve been doing well with my daily bible readings — thanks, YouVersion 😉 — and my little daily devotional reading. It’s been such a blessing to actually take time to read God’s Word every day.

I remember when I tried to do this before, and it was a chore. I was doing it by myself, I felt like it was just something that had to be done, it took up too much time…

Now, it’s actually such a joy.

My perspective has completely changed about daily Bible reading.

I’ve been really convicted to work on personal growth right now. And I’ve been praying about joy.

Joy isn’t the same as happiness, it’s not a temporary feeling but a state of being, and it’s something I desperately wanted to feel when connecting with God through reading His Word by myself.

For people who know me, you know I love to be with others so I get intense joy from corporate worship and fellowship and studying together, but I was struggling with trying to read and study and my own.

Right now though, it’s actually something I look forward to every day! I am absolutely loving it. I do feel joy when I’m meeting with God in this way!

The scriptures are so rich and every time you read a verse, God can reveal something new and mind-blowing to you (even if other people aren’t quite as impressed) and it’s exciting!

Sometimes I’ll read something I’ve read a hundred times before but something new will stand out to me, or will confuse me, and I’ll go look it up to see what others have said. Like the story of Noah’s nakedness when he curses Canaan, because of what his own son, Ham, had done. (Genesis 9:20-27)

It’s helpful, too, to have external encouragement from friends 🙂

Also, I picked up a book this week that I have not been able to put down (perhaps to the detriment of my school studies…)

It’s called Loveology, it’s by John Mark Comer and it’s great!

Seriously, pick up a copy (I’m borrowing mine from the OPL). [Also, a bit of self-promotion here, I’ve been so impressed by this book, I’ve instagrammed a few pages (among other great photos!) and you should check me out 😉 ]

Anyway, it’s a book about God, Love, Marriage, Sex, etc… and everything that goes along with that including waiting, and singleness.

Without going into all the convicting things in the book, the idea that struck me was how much time we spend on listing the qualities we expect out of a potential spouse, but we tend not to think too much about becoming that kind of person ourselves.

That’s why I’m so excited to devote more time and energy and effort into growing in my own relationship with the Lord.

Hopefully I’ll become a better person.

Anyway, this was another short one, just to encourage you to invest in your relationship with Christ.

Love you! God bless!

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Thirty-Five. Transients.

Well first of all, a very belated happy New Year! Hope everyone had a good time over the break with friends and family, and I hope this year will be amazing 🙂

Sorry I haven’t written in forever, I was away and then I had exams and such…

So last time I told you about my trip to Paris and how nervous I was to be travelling alone. Turns out I was right all along, travelling alone kind of sucks. I think it’s good to do it once in your life, but mostly so that you can complain about it properly. Sure it’s nice to “be free” and do whatever you want to do, however you want to do it without really considering anyone else.

But I don’t need that kind of freedom. I’d much rather spend time with people I love, deepening already meaning relationships with people who’ll actually be a part of my life for longer than just the trip.

A lot of people really like travelling alone because they get to do and be and love and think about themselves… I’m definitely not like that. I missed having someone to share good times with, someone to make amazing moments even more memorable, someone to help me make decisions or to make suggestions, someone to reassure and comfort me if something went wrong. I missed having someone to hug before saying goodnight.

I felt pretty lonely while I walked the streets of Paris by myself. Sure, they were beautiful – it’s a gorgeous city – but there’s something special about sharing the sights. Sometimes I’d catch myself wishing I was back at my hostel sleeping, or on the internet trying to connect with someone I could talk to just to pass the time before I finally got home. But I had to remind myself I could be in a way worse situation… Sure, no one wished me a merry Christmas on the 25th… but I was in Paris! So I did make myself smile and enjoy my surroundings.

It still would have been more enjoyable with a friend.

And with less rain.

A lot of people like travelling alone because they feel like they meet more people that way. Maybe I’m just unlucky but whenever I’m on a plane, I’m either with my parents, next to an empty seat, next to someone who’s asleep or next to someone who doesn’t speak English – so plane rides are pretty lonely. I also don’t see many other people wandering the streets by themselves so I don’t have many opportunities to talk to and connect with other single travellers.

On this past trip (I’ll post the link to the album at the end of my post) I did get a chance to meet someone during a free walking tour of the city. I overheard two people talking behind me in line and the girl said she was Canadian. I decided we had something in common so I could insert myself into their conversation. Thankfully it worked!

Throughout the tour Sogal and I took pictures of each other and we chatted in between the guides stories, telling each other about our lives and how we ended up where we were [as a point of interest, she’s originally from Toronto but she now lives and teaches in London, England].

After the tour, Joe, the other guy we were talking to, had to leave to catch a bus or plane because he was leaving the same day. Sogal asked me if I had any plans and I said that I didn’t have any specifics plans. I had thought about going up to Montmartre but I couldn’t turn down the chance to walk around with someone – even if we were going to the same places I went to alone the day before.

Actually, it was kind of funny to hit the same sights as I had already passed the day before, but this time with a friend because it really solidified in my mind that travelling alone is awful. My second day in Paris was definitely more enjoyable than my first.

Anyway, Sogal and I walked around a lot, did some dangerous street-crossing (sorry mom!), had a lot of laughs and wasted far too much time for two people who would only be in Paris for a few days. Eventually we realized it was getting late and I had to leave early the next day to catch my plane, so we decided to get back to our hostels. Though we weren’t at the same hostel, we were actually just down the street from each other, so getting back was pretty convenient!

Anyway, we also wanted to get some dinner because we’d been on our feet all day (the tour started in the morning and we hadn’t sat down at all).

Why is it important to mention the fact that we went to eat together? Because something amazing happened and that’s really the point of this blog post.

We wanted to eat at Sogal’s hostel’s bar/cafe but the kitchen closed about half an hour before we got there (we were very late getting back) so we just went to the nearest McDonald’s. As we ate our burgers and fries, Sogal told me that Joe had been pickpocketed twice in Paris! Then she asked me how I’d feel about it and the conversation turned into our outlooks on life.

I told her I honestly don’t worry too much about my possessions because I believe in a God who loves me, protects me and makes sure everything I need is provided. Is it still possible someone will steal my stuff? Absolutely, but I can also be assured that I would survive such an ordeal. I told her I stay in hostels, bring my laptop and don’t have a lock to close it up in a cupboard somewhere but that I don’t think about it much… [If anyone’s interested, I’m not opposed to bringing a lock to a hostel, I just didn’t have one and I am opposed to wasting money. I’ve brought a lock back from Canada with me though, so I will have one from now on.]

I told her I would probably feel angry or upset at first, but I’d get over the anger pretty quickly and I wouldn’t really keep thinking about revenge or making sure I’m the one who brings the thief to justice.

Sogal was really surprised and really impressed by my attitude but she wasn’t entirely convinced and challenged me a couple of times. She said she was kind of the opposite and absolutely would want to make the thief pay.

Because I mentioned God in my reasoning she asked me a few follow-up questions about my faith but not before she added something I’ll never forget.

“I don’t usually talk about politics or religion or anything because it makes people angry or they get offended but I’m really interested in what you think. I want to know more.”

1 Peter 3:15 says, “But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect…” (NIV)

“Always be prepared to give an answer”

A friend of mine mentioned in a Facebook chat a while ago that he was concerned about his speech. He said that other than with me, he rarely spoke about God. He said it made him kind of ashamed because whatever we’re most eager to talk about is most likely where our deepest passions lie.

I think he was right, but I didn’t quite realize how right he was at the time.

Thinking about my own life, I didn’t really pay attention to what I talk about most. I tend to talk a lot so I figured, sure I talk about God, but I also talk about Survivor or food and as long as I’m speaking in love those are all good things I think. But since I’ve begun actively reflecting on my speech I realize my two most talked about topics are children/babies/my job/my future plans for my life as they regard my own offspring and God.

I was pleasantly surprised.

So I was really happy Sogal asked me about what I believe and I was able to share with her even though it was probably too quick.

Sogal is one example of someone transient in my life. We meet transients all the time and often disregard the opportunity they present us. I will likely never meet Sogal again in my life, but at least for the brief time we spent together, I know she was told at least part of the Gospel. Even though I will likely never see or hear of her accepting Yeshua into her life, I planted a seed, or watered a seed and she heard the Good News. The rest is up to God.

Don’t be afraid to answer people when they ask you questions! I have a hard time evangelizing randomly because too often I’ve been met with, “I don’t want to talk about this,” or “I don’t care,” or an exasperated, “That’s great for you…” and I get the feeling people don’t like when Christians approach them. I don’t particularly like when people I disagree with come up to me with the sole purpose of telling me about their beliefs. If it comes up in conversation, that’s great, but if I’m reading, or studying, or checking my Facebook while I’m sitting alone on campus, I wouldn’t really appreciate someone coming up to me JUST to talk about their faith.

This is not to knock random evangelism, it really can work and it’s happened many times that there have been amazing results because someone was willing to talk to a stranger and engage them in a conversation about God, but it doesn’t really work for me.

So I wear my Messianic Seal of Jerusalem at all times and often people are curious about the symbol they don’t readily recognize so they are the ones to ask me about it. I try to make sure I’m always smiling and seem approachable so people who want to ask, feel like they can.

In fact, I wandered into a Christmas market on my first day in Paris and a man was selling some coated nuts and nougat. He called me over to his stall and offered me some samples. The treats were delicious and while I was standing there, and he was trying to sell me his products, we had a little friendly chit-chat going on. It was cold and I had my coat zipped all the way up.

I left without buying anything.

The next day, when I was out with Sogal, I started thinking about the nuts because they were so delicious! Since we went to all the same places I had been before, I told her about them and I said we should go find the stall again so she could try them. I also really wanted to buy some and bring them home for my family.

Eventually we did find the man and he recognized me right away! He was so happy I came back, he kept giving up free samples and he kept the conversation going with me and then he noticed my necklace. It was much warmer so I had my coat open.

He recognized the Jewish symbols and asked if I was Jewish and I was able to tell him, “Oui, mais…” [“yes, but…”] and I gave him a very brief overview of my faith.

It was a very short interaction but we’ll never know what those few exchanged words could turn into in that man’s life. Maybe he’d never heard of Messianic Judaism before and what I said would prompt him to look into it. Maybe he’d never met a friendly believer before and his outlook would change. Or maybe he forgot instantly and we’ll never know if he ever gave his life to Yeshua.

Either way, always be ready to give an answer.

That’s what I want to encourage you to do. Don’t be afraid to talk to people about what you believe. As long as you’re speaking in love and you’re not expecting them to agree with you right then and there, the conversation should be fine. It’s not your job to convert people – you can’t.

It can be hard to talk about God with family, for example, because if they do get offended [I wrote about being offended before] you don’t want there to be tensions. And for some, it can be hard to talk to strangers because you don’t want to seem annoying or pushy.

But transients are perfect to talk to!

Listen, everyone needs to hear about Yeshua, but it can be really hard to open up. It’s uncomfortable and our human nature is to shy away from uncomfortable things. If you really have a hard time sharing with people, try this first. The more you share, the easier it will become.

And when someone else is the one initiating the conversation, you’re golden! Go for it!

Anyway, I’m really tired. I’ve had a hard time falling asleep for the past three nights because of my exams. I’m glad I finally got back to my coffee breaks though 🙂 I have at least one more blog planned, (I had another one but I forget what it was now) so I want to promise I’ll write again soon… but we shouldn’t make promises we can’t keep. I’ll just say, be prepared for another post within the next week or so (hopefully).

Love you!
God Bless 🙂

PS, I almost forgot, here’s my Paris album 🙂 Enjoy!

Thirty-Four. Updates.

Well that plan failed. I had every intention of writing another blog post last month, I had an idea and everything, but life sometimes has a way of getting out of hand. I feel like I’m busy without being particularly busy… That didn’t make any sense.

Anyway, I’m sorry for the lack of posts, I’m sure you would love to read about my adventures here in Brussels.

For the most part, I find life is similar to life back home… on a general level. You know, you wake up (often before the sun comes up) and get ready for work or school, do what you do there and come home. There’s eating in between, wasting some time on the internet maybe and you have your hobbies. Or you have homework. Or maybe a report for work or something.

Some people have sports or special lessons a few nights per week.

Some people have date nights.

I didn’t have any of that back home, and I still don’t here. But I also don’t have as many demands on my time. So on a personal level, I’m much more relaxed here.

Back in Canada I had a lot of work to do for school and, being in Journalism, a lot of running around chasing stories. Here, I’m not studying Journalism so there’s none of that. They also evaluate very differently here, so the workload is different. Instead of tests and assignments throughout the year, most of my grades will be based 100% on the final exam. That’s very scary and I’m not a fan of this system.

For one course, we had a small bibliography assignment, a slightly larger but still small writing assignment based on the bibliography (due next week) and a final, oral exam. For my MA level course we have two written assignments (30% and 60%) as well as 10% participation.

But my other three classes all have one final exam. My grammar course exam will only have one question on it. (And two hours to answer that question.)

So in terms of homework throughout the year, I haven’t had any except reading.

I don’t have any job(s) while I’m here which is a nice break from the three jobs I had last year. Between supplying, tutoring and caring for kids on Wednesday mornings, I was busy. I also had a volunteer commitment every week having to prepare the slide show for church, and once a month preparing the bulletins.

It might not look like all that much really, but it certainly felt like it and, to be honest, I was kind of happy to have the opportunity to drop everything and get away. I felt really worn out.

Now I feel like I’m having fun because I get to spend time with friends (usually the guys I live with) and I get to relax and enjoy my time doing things that I like doing, like reading or writing or watching shows/movies.

And somehow, despite all this free time I supposedly have, I haven’t been travelling as much as I’d like (admittedly, I travel way more than the average person, but it’s less than I had envisioned for myself before I actually got here), and I definitely haven’t been writing as I thought I would.

In my mind, I’d have crazy stories to share on this blog, and I so wanted to write for the French department at Carleton, but for some reason, things didn’t go quite as I had planned. Sometimes it’s because I like the guys too much and spend a lot of time with them, sometimes it’s because I made other friends and want to go out with them and often I’ve found that I just can’t sit still long enough to write out coherent thoughts worth writing and sharing.

So I’m sorry.

But, now that I’m procrastinating from those writing assignments, I feel like putting out a little update on my life.

November 29th – December 1st/2nd, I was in Stockholm, Sweden for a friend’s birthday. What an amazing experience! Seriously, go up North sometime; visit a Scandinavian country! It was so beautiful. It was cold, yes, but so worth it!

My fingers were cold and it got too dark too quickly, so I couldn’t take as many photos as I normally would (only about 315 for three days) but here’s a small album with pictures of me and my friends: Tony’s Birthday in Stockholm; and here’s a much bigger album with pictures of the city, the harbor, the Christmas decorations, the buildings, the scenery: Stockholm.

It was really an incredible experience and there were so many memorable moments for us. The most important thing about travelling is who you’re with. That way, if something bad happens, there’s someone else there to make it easier to deal with, and if something good happens, there’s someone there to share it with. There were so many laughs throughout the weekend and no picture will ever be able to capture how much fun we had together.

Last week, I also had the chance to go with some students for a small unofficial tour of Brussels, but not just Grand Place where everyone seems to go. (For the record, we walked through it, but we didn’t really stop there at all except to gether the group together again.) We saw some beautiful places on our route, the Grand Sablon, the Petit Sablon, a big Synagogue, a beautiful church, and lots of lovely Christmas lights. It wasn’t quite as decorated as Stockholm was, but it was nice. We ended up in the Christmas market at Sainte-Catherine.

Here’s a small album from our walk: Christmastime in Brussels. It’s not very good because my camera really doesn’t like taking pictures in the evening, but there it is.

Now, we have one week left of classes for the semester so everyone’s working on final projects/assignments and preparing for exams in January. People are also really excited to go home for the holidays.

Originally, because of strange and complicated flights/connections/plans, I was supposed to leave Brussels on Dec. 26th to fly back to Canada via Paris and Philadelphia. Instead, now, I’ve booked myself a train ticket to go to Paris a couple of days early. I’ll be there for Dec. 24th and 25th and I’ll still be going home on the 26th.

It’ll be a challenge for me to travel alone because as much as I love travelling, and as much as I love Paris, I love people more. I like doing things with friends, I like talking and laughing and sharing moments with others. Alone, you can’t really do that so much… All my pictures will be selfies and those are never as good as pictures with friends and I won’t have any input as to what others want to do. I’ll be wandering the streets and getting lost all on my own.

As nervous as I am, I’m also kind of excited for what possibilities there will be for me. Sure, there’s potential for loneliness, but maybe I’ll feel more confident and independent and I’ll end up meeting some wonderful people! Who knows?

Anyway, I think that’s about it for now. I do have a new project I’m working on, but it’s a secret. The only reason I’m mentioning it is because it might take away from writing here. But considering I haven’t been writing regularly anyway, maybe you guys wouldn’t even have noticed.

We’ll just have to see where life takes me.

God Bless you all!

See you soon, Canada!